Label Thyself First

Written by Billy W on February 6, 2010

If you’re going to be a winning poker player, you must be mastered in the art of deception. And, depending on how good your opponents are, we’re talking deception on many levels. Of course, most winning players are looking for easy money, and playing against people who think about the game and their opponents on any other level than a basic one is a good way to bog down the whole money-making process. So, it’s often just come as you are at the money tables. By this, I mean straightforward ABC poker with a little deception thrown in to throw off any other sharks that might be lurking in the game you’re playing.



But, if you think about it, good poker players are natural born deceivers. No, I don’t mean to imply they’re all of questionable character. Not at all. But, if you’re naturally good at keeping secrets and manipulating others, poker tables are some of the best places I can think of to put such skills to use.



To say that someone is difficult to read, or is just plain unreadable is to say that the person is deeper than most, having many layers that need to be peeled away before discovering his or her true essence. Of course, if you’re a beat cop, you probably need to do a lot of generalizing in order to do your job efficiently. Sitting in a patrol car and trying to think of ways the guy in a business suit walking down this side of the street might be planning some fuckery, while ignoring the guy with tattoos on his neck and fingers, carrying a backpack, and peering into random car windows on the other side of the street is not good police work.



Labeling you’re your peers is a difficult endeavor at best. I mean, how can you feel confidently that you’ve got someone all figured out if that person is your peer? He or she is supposed to be your equal, right? If you think you’ve got the ability to ‘read’ this person like a book, aren’t you really saying that you somehow have an advantage over him or her? Maybe you do have an advantage, possibly through experience.



But what about someone who was once your friend? Or lover? I mean, unless you’re the kind of person who chooses friends or romantic partners based on their susceptibility to being manipulated or deceived, you likely thought at one point that your friends and lovers had at least as much depth and substance as you.



Am I wrong here?



If I’m right, then what the hell gets into some people to make them think they’ve got their friends or lovers all figured out? Isn’t that just the height of arrogance?



Isn’t it?

Unforetold

Written by Billy W on January 17, 2010

Now that I’ve settled up with a certain someone and the direction my life will be heading in is a bit clearer than before, I’ve come to realize how much I’m in dire need of a major plan or two.


 
The goal has always been to become my own boss, meaning self-employed. Lots of people dream this, but few ever even get into the planning stage. I’m now fully aware that I’m in danger of becoming one of these people. I’m reminded of the lyrics of a cheesy heavy metal song from my school days:
 

 
We see the light of those who find
A world has passed them by
To late to save a dream that’s growing cold
 


 
Strange how a song that once inspired me now causes me to feel a bit depressed, partially because it reminds me that I’ve taken on a few years since the days when those lyrics used to blare through my car stereo’s speakers, and partially because I haven’t quite chased the dream with as much vigor as I’d imagined I would.
 

 

No, it’s not too late. In fact, some will say it’s never too late. I don’t know about never, but I do know that it’s time to get serious or GTFO.

Another Christmas in Japan

Written by Billy W on December 24, 2009

In Japan, the Emperor’s birthday (December 23rd) is a holiday, so lots of westerners living here take advantage of the day to have their Christmas celebrations since they’ll likely be working on the 25th.



I have both days off. Well, the 23rd has come and gone already, and Christmas is tomorrow. To be honest, I haven’t thought much of Christmas since I was 20. In my early 20’s, I usually worked jobs that required me to have a Christmas-day shift, and sometimes a graveyard shift at that. Even though I tried to spend a little time with my family on those occasions, I never seemed to feel I was missing out on the holiday that was much more special to me in my schoolboy years.



After moving to Portland, OR when I was 25, I found myself usually joining the big Christmas Eve gathering at my aunt’s and uncle’s house. In those years, I kind of felt reinvigorated with the spirit of the holiday. My aunt would play guitar and sing Christmas songs in her beautiful voice while everyone sang along. Basically, in the middle of the party, there was a candlelit Christmas service for 30 minutes or so. I say was, but they’re still doing it these years.



So, tonight I sit here in my room in south Tokyo thinking about what Christmas means to me. On Christmas Eve in Japan, young couples get together and go out, often to romantic places. The holiday has a Valentine’s Day feel to it. I’m sure if I stepped out into the evening right now, I’d see a fair number of couples going in and out of the local train station. And, even though I’m separated by the largest continent in the world from my special someone, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on Christmas in Japan. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with her more than anything right now. But, that’s got nothing to do with any holiday.



I do feel like I’m missing out on something else, though. My mother and father, aunts and uncles… They’re not young anymore. How many more chances will there be for us to have Christmas together? I know my mother and father miss me and would love to have me back in the States with them for the holidays.



For so many years, I’ve been able to take a pass on family Christmas gatherings without much guilt or too many feelings of sadness.



This year is different, though. I think I might make a New Year’s resolution about next year’s Christmas.